humble me.

btw it's been more than a month since i posted in you and i apologize but
i was having the summer of my life
working at disney
with the best most fun people in the world
and not giving a fuck

mmhmm

i want a guy who is a somebody

who will ask me to dance when there's live music playing
-
who can change his character and appearance easily
who can be confident and pursue his dreams

but mostly i love a guy who will just ask me to dance

hi blog
sorry for neglecting you
ive been awful lazy and I've just been working and lazy.
I just got back last week from san diego being a transfer OL and i must say it definitely was shortlived but infinitely rewarding experience
it was a great vacation from work that i got all covered <333
spent the week with my boo, or the nights at least and got paid BOOYEAH
i love those type of jobs, but professionally i don't think i want to do that. it seems to mundane and unchallenging to me
i went to some appointments last wk too and got career advice
went thru a mild depression because the easy part of my life is going and i have to get into more career related things now
like theres is not much point in being involved anymore, nopenope....need to pick and choose now
and thats hard!

all well
having fun:D

i need to do social media poop
UGH I HATE SOCIAL MEDIA
AND STUPID COVER LETTERS.
amen

Today I'm taking a real holiday
and I'm really loving it
life is great
summer's going good
i feel like although life is not for sure meaning all planned out in the next few months
its ok and right now im content
happy fourth of july

i feel like if i could just find one person who enjoys doing things i do and hangs out with people i hang out with
that would be wonderful
im sure there is one person out there
ive found a few people here and there
but im still looking for a more spot on match that i can spend my time with
if only
oh disney

i cant wait to be rich so i can take vacations in the middle of nowhere in extravagant quarters
i met one of the original mad hatters the other day
what a life
idk but i feel like disney has some part of it small...but something
so many opportunities for me

im pretty certain im going to cambodia for 8 months at least to teach english and learn khmer once i graduate but before i want to travel for a month with emily i think she'd be down
idk where though across the us...route 66, europe, the americas
i would really loove the americas but its more dangerous of the choices
visiting nicoley tomorrow
i feel life is great and i shouldnt worry finding a partner
it'll come when time allows it
i have great things ahead of my though yes

My dad convinced me out of buying a car

im stuck with mine and im just going to have to take care of it

i got biopsy yesterday

5+ needles inmy boob + a clip and mammogram

today i had a bad shift time and drove through 3 hours of traffic no good but i didnt mind it personally but look at it im just thinking what a waSTE

im almost obsessed with the thought i marriage, getting married etc. starting a family thats another story

but idk if i was obsessed with college as much as im obsessed with getting married because thats what i perceive as the next big thing in my life. but that shouldnt be next, that shouldnt be what the next step is.

i hope and prayto have a successful business life and career working in a suit andheels everyday and i would love to have such a steady career before i get married. Have my own place my own car and then it should get to that. So i need to rearrange my obsession, why this comes forward so early though is how im terrified and scared of what people say. they met their spouse in college as an undergrad. that freaks me out because luis is not mr perfect, although we compliment each other well it still would be just settling and it makes me nervous. i shouldnt be thinking about this, im too young yadada. i shouldnt forget boy and that marriage shit. i have bigger fish to fry with my career and i have my own goals to tend to. i really need to get off my lazy ass and do shit no kidding fuck

i need to tend to my list

sighh im awful tired

need to tend to list....

its summer!!!!!!!!
i fee like the last few days were like a drop- so fast and in a rush
i turned in my last final online and like that i was in the shower and then i rushed over to in and out and then i got dropped off and stripped to do the undie run on a pretty much full stomach and then went back and drankk and got entertained by some younger boy in boxers lolls yeah that in a way
i had a good time but i needed to pack and took about 2 hours and then lloading took like 20 minutes and then i drove to disneyland without any sleep.picked up my stuff from suna she made sure i didnt drive...but two hours lkater pretty much i was driving hour+ tomy job
it was reallly cool i mean now that i think back about it everything that happened to me over the course of one hour because i had asuch a good time, i felt bad i didnt get to see luis one last night but turns out i didnt even sleep
now hes in mexico having a nice time, what a cutiee
i do miss him, the last time i saw him was when he dropped me off to get my ultrasound

sighh speaking of ultrasound i have to get a biopsy next week...which i managed to get off yayy i can deal with this scheduling now PHEW

but yeah anywho disneyland on june 14th was super cool because they had closed all of california adventure to the public and opened it to the media, celebrities, and special guests
meaning cali adv was super empty on thursday. i was orginially scheduled for disneyland but they pulled me over the dca and i found out while getting breakfast that it was a special day and that i was lucky yayy for being lucky, and i saw one of the costume people im kind of friends with. i was just telling him how i had no sleep the night before and was all shakey and jittery from driving and sleeping. god if i ever get into an accident its because i fall asleep on the wheel
and i hate traffic
so thursday was super fun doing something for the first time and a shorter shift luckilybut pretty muck almost died driving back on my lack of sleep. thank the lord that i didnt get into an accident i was soo incredibly sleep deprived. i saw my momand went straight to bed, she thought i was crazy but i hadnt had any sleep...good thing my shift was very relaxed with the lack of people in park
im happy about how everything went except my drive home UGH
i need to figure out how the train works soon because i dont want to be risking that no moree
the next day i had my first hotel shift and that was really really nice
it was a very intimate broom closet of a break room but we pretty much got breakfast it was rather nice
the group was mellow, it guess the day was jittery and busy because it was the grand reopening of california adventures
i came in around 5:45 and happy to see a rowdy crowd outside the gate of cali adv, how nice it was...
but i played a new one again i just need to figure out how to work it but
i found out storytellers cafe has the best breakfast in the whole resort albeit its more pricey thats good to know i also met my first VIP i felt a little neglected but he was a friendly feller and im a bit envious of his lifestyle traveling to the disney resorts and such yupppp
also got a pin for being a cm working during the grandreopening how cool is that so much nice things!

today i was my supposed favorite it as alright i dont like one of the girls that much but i have a friend or two though that nice
i went to watch the new red car trolley show after and then saw what dancing with disney was. I think it wont last that long, they definitely need to play with it A LOT but it was kind of cool
after i finally watched the disney jjunior playhouse show that was nice nd cute and then i went home and there was stupid traffic cause a crash
if it wasnt for that delay im thinking i couldve made it without dozing off
got home saw my siblings getting addicted to maple story for the summer and then i went to sleep for 8 hours i didnt see mmom but maybe ill see her in the morning
had to clean up a bit
and yeah
now im here in my messy guest bedroom
missing luis but needing to get over him............ like seriously there be other fish in the sea

yeahh i would like to pleaseee
i dont plan on marrying him...

i cant wait until imdone being tired
need to catch up with morgan
kind of hungry again

well ill go to sleep because i dont feel like cleaning more
no me gusta unpacking....

thatsthat

dca tomorrow

i'm definitely going through a rough patch in life

i do not know if I could have done anything to prevent it

i feel that much of the cause of it is my job with disney

and i have fought hard to stay with it, counter what others might say fate has not meant to be.

it makes me happy but it has caused me many problems my new beloved job with disney

i basically quit dancesport and had to giveaway my performance spots because of the inflexibility of my job

my car has been dying on me, which is making me invest in a new car this summer

i got a ticket from being careless driving in on my first first day of work, like no kidding.

ive been paying pretty much my shift in gas to get to work lately because i am still in school

ive replaced parts in my car in those emergencies when my car broke down and that has cost me several hundreds already

i almost lost my leadership job due to racist comments, twice.

now i have decided to check out a lump in my breast and that's going to cost me $200 to discover what it is...+commuting costs because my insurance is down here

now i am uncertain of my relationship and I'm debating on continuing it

i haven't thought about it much but I'm feeling that i should discontinue how serious it is but liek i said i haven't thought much about it.

i feel it rather important and necessary for me to have at least someone to help me through this rough patch, which comes to my ridiculous dependency on my boyfriend or significant other

i would like to get away from that, its doable

but its nice

but i dont want that to be me forever

and it definitely wont be me in the future so it has to start eventually why not now?

i feel like im going through a rough patch this past month or two and its almost over?

i have no clue and im in no place to start predicting

i have to look at the better brighter things

please

im so excited for life
and for summer
things are looking great

just need to finish two finals and an essay in 3 days
lets do this

dear xanga
scheduling sucks
im just going to suck it up and jsut do it
i can make it work
i just have to work harder
its the last 3 weeks
i can make it

and i like luis