March 24, 2013

• when i have nothing to do
  i get so incredibly lonely why is like that? it's always been that way yet why do i feel more empty not at this age????

  luis picked up his phone last night i like him a lot but i told him just turning gf bf like... he does not deserve it
  it hurt him but it's the truth, you have to earn it.

  it's like pledging except in a relationship
  shit

  so i crossed into the sorority and now i can say i'm a proud member of-
  but honest to say
  i am sad and i feel unvaluable to this group of girls and unappreciated
  we want to help it out and make it better
  dig our sorority out of the hole it got itself into
  but i feel like the girls don't give a shit and do as they please
  why do i feel this way
  i feel that i am not respected, that the young girls do not respect the older girls
  and in that i mean age wise, but the omegas are all older than the psi's for the most part so i do not know how that will work

  also i'm sad about stephanie and zyanya. i know zyanya is so happy she's in but i cannot rely on her as a sister could and i know she feels the same. steph just chooses not to get involved hence im distant. we are distant
  life can't be perfect and i got at least a mix.... at least i have something

  what was i expecting
  love and respect
  mostly respect i hate the respect issues we got going on....

  i'm sorry but don't expect me to respect you if you give me no respect and acknowledgement in return because well... that's how i work
  i have a lot of things on my plate, i do a lot of things, i accomplish a lot of things and i am very proud of what i do and i look to be recognized for it. i can do a lot of things, i can help, but i can't help if the group doesn't want to be helped

  well all i can say right now is that i'm sad at how i don't like so many of the girls and the dismall disgusting reputation the sorority has gotten in the one year since i last went to rush. i joined because of those girls, not because of you, i will try and make up for that, but i can only do so much if you are going to act disgusting and immature

  the end
  not
  i want to fix this
  i need to run and loose weight.

  i dont want to be ffat

  • 2:43 am
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